Mario Eats a Trippy Mushroom
by Captain Cook
Summary: Mario takes a trip to rescue the princess while on a mushroom-induced trip! Nonsense and hilarity ensues. Kids, this is why you don't do drugs!
1. BIG FAT NINJA TURTLE

**Mario Eats the Wrong Kind of Mushroom**

**CHAPTER ONE: BIG FAT NINJA TURTLE**

Mario left his house after getting a distress call from the castle. Apparently, Bowser was at it again. He hit a ? block releasing what appeared to be a Super Mushroom and ate it... except it wasn't. It appeared to have no effect. Perplexed, Mario continued on his merry trip.

By the time he had reached Peach's castle, Mario's head started to spin...

* * *

Catgirl Peach came running out of the castle made of peaches, with Ninja Turtles shortly behind.

"Mario, the ninja turtles are attacking mew!" Catgirl Peach said.

"**WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING MY LITTLE KITTY?**" the Big Fat Ninja Turtle bellowed from his giant flying cookie. "**STOP THE RUNNING AND PURR FOR BIG FAT NINJA TURTLE!**"

"I will make your fat burn, you disgusting thing!" Mario shouted, using a Thin Flower and throwing weight loss supplements at the Ninja Turtles. But it was to no avail as the Big Fat Ninja Turtle ran over Mario and took Catgirl Peach to be with him forever.

"**I HAVE YOU NOW, MY KITTY! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!**" the Big Fat Ninja Turtle gloated, taking her into his giant dookie.

"YOU EVIL TURTLE GUY! STOP TAKING MY KITTY WITH FUR BIKINI!" Mario shouted, chasing after the giant cookie.

"**YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME DUDE!**" Big Fat Ninja Turtle yelled.

"How dare you take Peach! _I HAVE FURY!_" Mario said. So Mario chased the Big Fat Ninja Turtle to his castle.


	2. MEAN CLOUDS

**CHAPTER TWO: MEAN CLOUDS**

It was getting cloudy and stormy, raining cats and dogs and flowers and tetris blocks and awesome smileys. But Mario ran through the storming grasslands to catch up with Big Fat Ninja Turtle's giant cookie so Peach would not be his any more.

"Stop raining cats and dogs and flowers and tetris blocks and awesome smileys you clouds!" Mario angered.

"No," the clouds boomed, "we will kill you! D:{" So the mean clouds tried to kill Mario with thunder and awesome smileys.

"You are big fat meanies, clouds! :(" Mario shouted. "Now I have no choice but to make you skinny!"

"Make yourself skinny, tubby!" the clouds mocked. So Mario cried because he realized he was fat. Then he got mad. "YOU WILL PAY FOR HURTING MY FEELINGS, CLOUDS!" So Mario backflipped into the sky and threw weight-loss pills at them so they disappeared and stopped crying awesome.

"Yay! No more clouds!" Mario said, then turned back real fast to see that the sun was angry!

"You stopped my break time early!" infuriated Angry Sun. "Now I am Angry Sun!"

"But sun, they tried to hurt me and make me feel sad!" Mario said.

"But now I will kill you!" yelled Angry Sun. "Prepare to die!"

Mario tried weight loss pills but they didn't work on Angry Sun! So Mario ran faster through the countryside until he was attacked by more Ninja Turtles.

"You cannot escape me Mario!" Angry Sun yelled.

"Oh yes I can!" Mario said, hurling Ninja Turtles at the Angry Sun. So the Angry Sun went down and it was nighttime and cold.


	3. KILLER SNOW BUNNIES

**CHAPTER THREE: KILLER SNOW BUNNIES**

Now hippie clouds were present and making snow fall in peace symbol shapes. Mario continued walking towards Big Fat Ninja Turtle's Sewer Castle to save Peach so she would be a happy soul.

"Finally the clouds are nice and not trying to beat me up like the other clouds which are stupid and evil," Mario said, running to get where Catgirl Peach was. "Hey clouds, you are nice!"

"Thank you," said the clouds.

But Mario did not see Magical Ninja Turtles standing before him until it was too late.

"Mario, you shouldnt come here," said the Magical Ninja Turtles. "Leave this place or die!"

"But Big Fat Ninja Turtle has my kitty!" Mario said.

"She is your kitty with fur bikini no more!" said the Magical Ninja Turtles. "Behold our power as you die!"

So the Magical Ninja turtles conjured bunnies out of the snow. They were snow bunnies!

"Snow bunnies? Oh come on you can't be se-" Mario said before being interrupted by the consumption of Ninja Turtle flesh.

"AAAAGH! ATTACK HIM AND NOT US FOR WE ARE EVIL LIKE YOU!" screamed the Magical Ninja Turtles as they were eaten alive by the snow bunnies because they were killer snow bunnies! But the killer snow bunnies were still hungry!

"WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME CLOUDS? :C" Mario said to the clouds.

"BUT THIS ISN'T OUR FAULT :/" said the clouds.

So Mario ran from the hordes of killer snow bunnies until he entered Dark Land and they all melted from the lava.


	4. WORMS

**CHAPTER FOUR: WORMS**

Finally Mario was at the Big Fat Ninja Turtle's Sewer Castle.

"**YOU ARE TOO LATE,**" shouted Big Fat Ninja Turtle. "**I HAVE MADE HER EAT BELLY BLECH WORM!**"

"Mario... why couldn't you have gotten here sooner, meow?" Catgirl Peach asked. "Now I have worms!"

"WHAT?" Mario couldn't believe. "How could you have done her like that? Now she will be muscle and scary and mean!"

"**AND YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT HER DUDE!**" Big Fat Ninja Turtle smugged.

Mario horrored as he watched Peach get muscle and scary and mean.

"NOW PEACH IS STRONG AND BIG AND HULK REFERENCE NOW!" Wormy Catgirl Peach said. "PEACH SMASH MARIO!"

"No, Peach smash Ninja Turtles!" Mario said.

"... oh, ok," Wormy Catgirl Peach said, then smashed Ninja Turtles.

"**NO! DO NOT SHELLSHOCK NINJA TURTLES! SMASH ITALIAN!**" Big Fat Ninja Turtle annoyed back.

"BUT _YOU _MADE ME MUSCLE AND SCARY AND MEAN" Peach said. Then she smashed him but he didn't die.

"**GWAHAHAHAHA!** **YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME, FOR I HAVE EATEN IMMORTAL HAMBURGER MADE BY RONALD MCDONALD!**" Big Fat Ninja Turtle gloated.

"You fool," Ronald McDonald said, appearing, "the burger is immortal, not you!"

"**OH,**" Big Fat Ninja Turtle said, then died of smashing and preservative poisoning and a heart attack.

"_Muahahahaha!_" Ronald laughed. "Now with him out of the way, I will rule life, the universe, and everything! Everyone shall be supersized and **DIE!**"

"Not so fast," shouted Burger King and his ally Wendy.

"What?" Ronald shouted. "You cannot possibly be being together to stop me!"

"Even enemys can team up to kill you monster!" Wendy shouted.

"You are a disgrace to the fast food!" Burger King yelled. "Die Ronald. You don't belong in this world!"

So Mario, Wormy Catgirl Peach, Burger King, and Wendy fought to save their arteries from Ronald McDonald.

"Four against one?" Ronald surprised. "I shall show you my true power and you will all scream in pain as you are supersized!"


	5. SUPERSIZE ME

**CHAPTER FIVE: SUPERSIZE ME**

"RAAAN **RAAAAAAN** _**RAUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"**_

Ronald flew up into the air and laughed, then generated an unspeakable level of power so great no one could comprehend. By the time everyone had come to their senses everything was Ronald and Ronald was everything.

Ronald had become McGiygas.

"I will get you a H... a... p... p... y... m... e... a... l..."

No one could grasp the true form of McGiygas's attack... but Wendy was supersized and had heart attack.

"WENDY!" Burger King shouted.

"Burger King... we may have been rivals, but... I... love... y..." Wendy said and got hurt and collapsed.

"You... loved me? Wendy! Don't die on me! Wake up! Please!" Burger King mourned.

"Wendy has dead," Mario said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Burger King wept over Wendy's huge body then got mad and turned around. "My name is Burger King. You killed Wendy. **PREPARE TO DIE!**"

"McGiygas you will suffar!" Mario pointed and yelled.

"PEACH SMASH!" Wormy Catgirl Peach screamed.

So Mario threw weight loss pills and Peach smashed and Burger King punched McGiygas in the face. But nothing happened.

"I feel gooooooooooooood..." McGiygas moaned. No one could grasp the true form of his attack but everyone was now supersized and having heart attacks.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Burger King cried. "How... can this be... gasp..."

"PEACH HURTS," Wormy Catgirl Peach said.

But Mario was unable to speak. He was becoming increasingly dizzy and disoriented... until...

* * *

Mario snapped back into reality.

"Mario? Are you alright?" very-obviously-not-a-catgirl-and-hulk-reference Peach asked.

"... huh?" Mario asked. "Whoa... what all just happened... ohhhh..."

"You beat Bowser and all, but you were acting very strangely and speaking nonsense. Are you OK?"

"I... uuuughhh..."

Mario turned around and vomited.

"Mario! What's wrong?"

"Peach... you don't want to know... next time... I will actually pay attention to what mushrooms I eat... ergh..."

**THE END!**

Disclaimer: All misspellings during the hallucination are intentional.

also i was serious about the immortal hamburgers... well sort of


End file.
